The Plus Side to Plus Size

This weekend I visited a few friends in D.C who were graduating from medical school. Since we are all wrapped up in our careers, we've used Facebook, e-mails, and sporadic text messages to keep tabs on each other, and note any major life events. 

I was quite surprised when one of these friends asked me about the blog. Mostly because I figured this blog was mostly for me, and not many people outside of the comments actually read it. The main questions were where did it go, and why did I stop posting. I mumbled some sort of response to her, blaming lack of time and work, etc. etc. etc., but it gave me much to think about on the plane ride home.

Although I have been (somewhat) keeping up with the calories on @HealthyFatChick instagram, it is safe to say I let go of my blogging duties when I began to see less results and the holidays/work/excuses took over. As I searched for other efforts for quick results, I let myself lose sight of my "why"-- why I began this journey, this page, this blog. 

The problem with being public about my journey is that everyone has an opinion. It is highly possible I let the opinions of others thwart my efforts. I jumped onto the scene blindly and naive, foolishly thinking I was ready for whatever criticism and unsolicited advice came my way and was determined to prove any naysayer wrong.

It is something that happens often, as I question why I might lose relationships,friendships, people may change-and instead of outright asking someone why this change has occured, I change. I assume responsibility for lack of communication or effort, and in short, try too hard to make something out of what is no longer salvageable. So I let snarky comments about the blog, my weightloss efforts, my relentless social media posting, myself, my relationships- change my patterns and behaviors. And yet not once do I ever expect anyone to change their personality, style, or relationship because of my silly ol' opinion. Not once has any effort I've made to change someone's perspective on myself made a difference. Once someone makes up their mind about you, there is little you can do to change their opinion. 

And that's where I lost the battle. It should have never been about everyone's opinion. It was about helping others in a similar situation and providing stories, recipes, and perhaps even perspective. It's high time to get back to it. I knew that losing weight would entail some deep soul searching, but the burden and emotional weight I carried was more that any amount of fat on my body. And it's time to let that weight go. 

The plus side? I have been able to maintain my initial 40 lbs. weight loss. Still Plus Size, but that just means, there's work left to be done. Work I have quietly been putting in, modestly.Finding what works for me, and what brings me joy. Not killing myself or denying any treats-but let's be real, maybe I've been a little too lenient and that's why despite putting in workouts, the scale is moving slower than desired. But these are aren't difficult changes to make, they are disciplined changes I have to make if I ever want to move beyond the  "Whatever Happened to Healthy Fat Chick?" question. Thanks to Vixen Workout, Orange Theory, and Shakeology- I have found my own fitness programs that work for me, and I know when I stop with the foodie excuses, change will come and fast.

This year I did my 10th half marathon. I am constantly looking for another finish line...but in reality, the finish line I long for the most is the one I've been chasing my whole life: to be under 200 lbs!

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We should all be our own favorite project. Always willing to grow, inspire, change, renew. And never letting anyone,anything, any words or comments, stand in your way.

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The Plus Side to Plus Size is that I am always a work in progress. The journey is never over. And that is never a bad thing. :)

What has been your biggest weight loss challenge? Share your story in the comments below!